The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
Animals
Gerbilling
 savage gerbil




From: angusj@panix.com (Angus Johnston)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Gay Sex Advice Columnist on Gerbling
Date: 15 Sep 1995 18:39:15 GMT

Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column is almost always a must-read. Until Susie Bright gets a column, it will remain the wittiest, smartest, in-your-facest discussion of things sexual to appear in the American media each week. This week's effort includes the following (September 19, Village Voice, but syndicated so check local listings):

"Readers often accuse me of selecting letters for shock value. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most outlandish letters I receive never make it into the column: they wind up in an ever-thickening file folder...So, to prove once and for all that I do my part to ensure public morality, and to raise everybody's thresholds, I'm running a handful of truly disgusting letters. You have been warned..."

After passing on and replying to a letter by a fart enthusiast, one from a guy who wants to be shat upon, and a fake incest "confession" Dan relayed the following:

"My boyfriend is much older and more experienced than me. He really loves to play with my bunghole, and insists all gay men enjoy the things he has me do. It started out with plain old cornholing, but we've moved on to acts that make me uncomfortable. Last week he 'felched' me. The week before that we 'fisted.' He makes me walk around the apartment with a dildo taped in my ass, and gives me enemas. I tend to bleed a lot rectally, but he tells me this is normal. He recently wen to a pet shop and bought two gerbils. They're to celebrate our anniversary, he says, but he won't tell me what we're going to do with them. You're a gay man with a lot of experience. Can you tell me what he's going to do with the gerbils? Thank you."

"---Gay Teen"

Dan replied as follows:

"I get at least one letter like this a week. Lengthy, involved, blatantly homophobic questions about butt sex from butt-obsessed straight boys. What gives the letter away? Maybe it's that parade of homophobic cliches: pederasty, abuse, dildos, fisting, gerbling, 'cornholing.' Oy. Whenever a straight person asks why gay men are obsessed with anal sex, I show them my collection of hetero-generated gerbil-felching-bleeding-anus letters. We're not obsessed by anal sex, some of us don't even dig it. It's straight men, terrified of their own assholes, who are obsessed. We've explored our butts, we know what's up, and what feels good. Straight boys, on the other hand, don't explore and don't know, and consequently seem to spend a great deal of time wondering about it."

Just thought I'd share.

--
Angus Johnston


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